Orchidelirium oversight...

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A council has admitted accidentally mowing down one of Britain's rarest orchids - for the third year running. [Link] Smuggling, a multi-billion pound black market, provoking lust, prison sentences, intense rivalry, urinating on others' specimens, round the clock police protection, massacres, a sexual nature, extinction: all relevant in the murky yet illuminated world of...testicles...or should I say orchids, from the Greek órkhis meaning 'testicle' (some orchids have two tuberous roots and ...well, you know what the ancient Greeks were like). Orchids are never far from the news, Last month we were told of police protection for one specimen and another has been in the news this week after, as I mention above, one of the UK's rarest orchids was mown down AGAIN. Plantlife’s Species Recovery Officer was NOT impressed. Beware you council contractors: you'll be first on their list when the day of reckoning comes: "...they're watching you, planning their take-over, waiting for the opportune moment...". I mean just look at the one in the "this week" link, it's laughing at us!

The Orchidelirium of the title isn't a joke, it was the name given to a specific period in Victorian times extending into the 20th century when there was a 'flower madness' provoked by orchids. Amongst other 'suspicious' tales this classic:

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"In 1901, eight orchid hunters went to look for rare orchids in the Philippines. One of the hunters was eaten by a tiger, another had oil spilled on him and was burned alive, and five others vanished completely. The man who survived the ordeal collected 7,000 orchid specimens" [Wiki, click on image]

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'What are you looking at me like that for?' said the only survivor...OK, I just made that up.

IMHO I believe that part of the wild orchids' allure, apart from wierd and wonderful shapes and colours, is a scent/aroma, some more obvious than others (e.g. vanilla) that affect us poor humans in ways we can't, or don't want to, control. For those interested there is mountains of information on this 2nd largest of plant families on earth that are also scarily adaptable and the most rapidly changing group (genetically speaking). The Orchid Review is 117 years old so it must be an interesting - and ongoing - obsession.

Overton's opening...

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And it's out this week: the long-awaited novel by Glenn Beck. It's an interesting title: 'The Overton Window'; this is the name given to a political theory, and I may be wrong but I think it is "of the left"; it's not a particularly startling nor complicated theory (as the in-depth diagram to the left shows you: click on image to get "An Introduction to the Overton Window of Political Possibility"). It describes a 'window', the limits of which are the range of reactions that the public may have to any particular policy idea. The theory being the window moves either left or right (despite being up and down in that diagram) and can grow or shrink depending on the influence of politicians, lawmakers, opinion formers, public etc.

The up/down refers to any policy or 'collection of public policies' that "can be arranged in order from more free to less free (or alternatively, from less government intervention to more). To avoid comparison with the left-right political spectrum, [Overton] arranged the policies from bottom (less free) to top (more free)."

"...politicians typically don't determine what is politically acceptable; more often they react to it and validate it. Generally speaking, policy change follows political change, which itself follows social change"

So the idea of moving the window is usually from 'the sides': ideas that maybe fringe or extreme will not usually be in the window because "[Politicians] will do what they feel they can do without risking electoral defeat, given the current political environment shaped by ideas, social movements and societal sensibilities." Knowing Glenn Beck there is no doubt what the book will really be about (not a well kept secret!): conspiracy theories galore involving a drastic shift to the left; Obama (thinly disguised) will be helping the spread of Socialism - and worse - in the U.S.A. I could be wrong.

Anyway, apart from discussing how fast this book will become a Bestseller isn't the only debate raging across North America, the other (no, not Soccerball World Series [with thanks to The Sun]) but whether the strangely alluring and attractive Sarah Palin has a had a boob job or not! I think not but I'd like her to let me examine them to make sure.

Obama's oily-ocean obligation...

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The horror continues and the environmental disaster will definitely worsen. Obama's obligation is to concentrate more effort on the clean-up operations. Two weeks ago they seemed to have the oil spill capped and I compared the slick to the size of Wales; since then things seem to have worsened; the Guardian reports "US government figures show twice as much oil spewing into the Gulf of Mexico than earlier estimations suggested"; the Guardian also have a handy map to compare the size of the oil spill (look at that FFS!!!). Four states are affected: Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and now Florida (I wonder if the sand at Pensacola Beach will stay white). As I mentioned back then, the opinion polls of Obama's handling of the situation were very poor and naturally he was on the defensive about the US government response, however, since then he has been very much on the offensive even leading many in Britain to encourage David Cameron to defend BP (he didn't...but it's nothing to do with the lawsuit against Cameron International Corporation, which supplied the blowout preventer valves for the Deepwater Horizon..btw, that's A JOKE!). If the US figures are to be believed (I say "if" only because Obama's BP bashing has been getting more marked and threatening by the day - especially re legal action to stop a dividend payment to shareholders etc - so I wouldn't put exaggerated figures beyond them: it's the 3rd time they adjusted the estimate) it means that "Deepwater Horizon is producing an Exxon Valdez-size spill every five to 13 days".

Only one 'other'...

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I know I'm a bit late with the Labour Leadership contest news but it was amusing - and a relief...honestly!...to see a non male, non white, non plastic, non sound-bite driven, non twat (yes, yes I see the irony) type of person who also happens to be a 12 or 13 years older than the next oldest rival. Diane Abbot was Britain's first black woman MP and now has over 23 years at Westminster, in this year's election she increased her majority for Labour so she must be doing something right locally...mustn't she? The left-winger only had 11 nominations on Tuesday night, 12 hours before the deadline yesterday but in a final rush/push/fiddle she got the 33 needed to be part of the leadership election. Nothing suspicious about that, nothing at all...at all. The Labour leadership debates are going to be a lot more interesting because of her presence. Why are you laughing? I'm not joking!

Update: "Miss Piggy and The Muppets" as one comment HERE puts it. Hehehe...

One observation of ousted ogre...

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It seems my previous post isn't the only blog wondering where Brown is: Iain Martin on his WSJ blog has a humourous take on the glaringly obvious absentee. Iain also links to Kevin Maguire at the Mirror who report a sighting but his 'upbeat' prose seems to be trying rather desperately to excuse Brown's absence but just makes it all the more noticeable.

Update...just edited the title!

Out of order III...

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LOL! Unbelievable...(I say that a lot, I know) Guess what Gordon the lying, cowardly, pathetic, bitter and twisted twat did? You know, Gordon Brown, the guy that hasn't been seen since he resigned, not even at the State Opening of Parliament, which when you think about it is really out of order; an incredibly poor decision - but typical of the man. Apparently, one of Brown's last few official actions was to organise a 22.5% PAY CUT for Cameron..."but this was done with such stealth that no formal announcement was ever made."

"This was pure Gordon," harrumphs my man in Whitehall. "Quite prepared to make the big sacrifices – so long as it wasn't him who actually had to make them."

Hat-tip: Guido

In another interesting tale of Labour woes this weekend Dizzy shows us the absolute stupidity of whomever it is tweeting the "Tweet4Labour" hash: they are "adamant that because the BBC report was published today it must be referring to spending since the Government was formed." despite the report being from 2007. Fuckwits.

Osorio's offering...

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The Venezuelan "Minister for Food" (Jeez, that sounds so bad) Félix Osorio, has denied that between 20 and 30,000 tons of food has decomposed - still in their 1000+ shipping containers - whilst stuck in a ministry-made bureaucratic limbo [El Nacional]. Osorio claimed that the bad press was media manipulation, adding that "it is false that 30,000 tonnes are damaged" because, for example, "there is sugar there and sugar doesn't damage". Hilarious, Hugo the goon surrounds himself with similar goons: first, Osorio unwittingly admits that loads of food was damaged and second, sugar can easily be ruined: too much heat, too much moisture, broken packaging, bug or vermin infestation...well you get the idea. The idea of the Ministry of Food is to help reduce malnutrition and poverty; of course this is a noble aim but as ANYONE knows - in ANY country - that as soon as the government gets involved all efficiency and value for money goes out the window; Venezuela is no exception as has been proved so many times by the clown and his posse...but food supply? Come on, this is serious. Osorio proudly announced that "We have secured the first month's supply". [Prensa Latina] Food riots anyone?

Orwellian offspring...

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Will these schoolboys ever live down the fame infamy? "A SHOPKEEPER has been fined £53 for selling pornographic magazines on the bottom shelf of his store after a tip-off by schoolchildren." [Link].

Now, forgetting the ridiculous sum of the fine, and the fact that apparently the shopkeeper, Saeed Ahmed, is the first person in ten years to be prosecuted under this Act, what the hell has happened to the yoof in the UK? Anna Raccoon is right, it seems "An Alien Species": what would any 'normal' self-respecting, red-blooded schoolboy do when faced with a pile of sex magazines within the reach of their young, deft fingers?

"These boys hot footed it straight to Fife to the offices of the 'Front Page Campaign' where they reported that the shop keeper was currently failing to keep these titles on the top shelf contrary to the Indecent Displays (Control) Act 1981. They knew their rights."